Easter

Brandon had his second grade music concert. This year's theme was Earth day. They did several songs in which they combined sign language and singing and they also did some square dancing. I am not sure where that fits into the Earth theme but it was cute. Brandon was partnered up with a boy twice his size but he didn't seem to mind. They also did recycle projects where they made projects totally out of recycled materials and showed them off that night. Brandon's robot was made from water bottles for the legs, a cardboard box for the body, a juice bottle for the head, TP rolls for the arms, paper mache to hold it all together, pop bottle tops for decoration, and used foil. He was very proud.

I took Jessie to GG's to see the Easter bunny. She was afraid to sit on the bunny's lap so I had to sit with her. GG also sat with Jessie and the bunny but my picture didn't come out very good. If I get a better one I will send it.

The night before we decorated Easter eggs. I think the kids got more on their hands than on the eggs. They had a great time though. Then on Easter morning we had the egg hunt. The kids know we hide the eggs but they think the Easter bunny hides the baskets and magic keeps them invisible until it is time to hunt. We had to do the hunt inside this year because of the weather. Then we had the family lunch with everyone. We do lunch instead of dinner because Chris and Rachel have to go to Rachel's mom's for dinner, but we have a big meal with ham and the works. Brandon got this little balloon pump with balloons in his Easter basket you pump them up and then let them go and they dance on the ceiling and make obnoxious noises. Everyone (big and little kids) played with those for quite a while and it got rather crazy but fun. And that was Easter. It was a good day.

Job

Scott didn't get the Oregon job because of the bankruptcy. I am glad we don't have to move but we are back to square one. The government sure doesn't make it easy to get jobs when everything requires good credit to work. There was a custodian job that wanted five years experience and prefered a bachelor's degree. How can anyone find jobs with these kinds of criteria? Anyway I wanted to thank everyone for their support and prayers, especially Rebecca and Uncle Jim for your responses. I know that everyone has their own problems also and I am grateful that we have a close family that we can share our problems with. There are so many people that have no one to turn to and I am thankful that I am not one of them. Keep the prayers coming, we need all the help we can get, and I will pray for all of you too. Brandon says that we need to get rich so we can help others since we know what it is like, from his lips to God's ears.

Since Jessie's birthday we have had one bad thing after another. Fearless (our dog) has had a mass on his chest for awhile and it finally started causing too much trouble for him and we had no choice but to take him back to the vet. It was cancerous, which is what we suspected even though the other vet we took him to earlier said no. We had the choice to put him down or do surgery to remove the tumor and hope for the best. Because we couldn't face trying to explain to the kids how we couldn't afford to try and save him, especially when I tell the kids that money, or the lack of it, doesn't matter and God will take care of us, we opted for the surgery. Mom got us on a care credit plan that the vet suggested so we can make monthly payments. He got through the surgery and is doing pretty well. The cancer doesn't appear to have spread for now. Shane (our other dog) is eleven going on 12 this year so we could potentially lose both dogs around the same time. We have had to file bancrupty because we can't get jobs, the business is pretty much done for and we are going to lose the fire truck to the bank since the government is so messed up and they aren't hiring contractors for fires. Most all the contractors are in the same boat we are. We got approved for the home modification loan but the finalization has been put on hold and we could potentially lose it because of the bancruptcy. And now the only job Scott has been offered is in Portland, Oregon. It doesn't pay very well considering the cost of living up there and I doubt with the bancruptcy so new we could even sell this house and get a loan for a new one there. We have until Monday to make a decision but the only way we could do it is for Scott to go there for a year and work and then we join him. I am not willing to move there until he is sure the job would work out. I have seen too many people move, the job doesn't work out, and they are stuck. I also just plain don't want to move. I wish I had the adventure gene that some of our family possess but I don't and neither do the kids. We don't take change well. They said they would help with relocation and rental until we could sell here and find a place but that would mean more moving and transition. Oregon isn't even close enough to travel back and forth easily. It is about a two day drive. I can't see how this job is the answer to our prayers but we are also running out of time. His unemployment and our tax refund are running out. I know that God has a plan for us but I can't help wondering if his plan is for us to lose everything. I am trying to stay positive, especially for the kids, but you can only be positive for so long when every time you turn around it is more bad news. About the only thing good that I can think of is Chris had a good birthday and none of us have too bad of health. Jessie got to be babysat by GG while we went to the bancruptcy hearing and she and GG had a good time together. The ladies at the Villa love hearing grandma's stories about the princess and this will give them something to talk about for awhile. GG is doing well and I never thought I would be able to leave my daughter with her almost 96 year old GG to be babysat even for a little while. So there is some good. Sorry to be so negative but I just needed to get things off my chest. Hopefully I'll have a more cheerful blog later.

Jessie's 5th birthday

Jessie's balloons from Applebees

Her new dress up outfit with matching doll

I can't believe she is already five. We had her party on Saturday before because it seemed cruel to make her wait a whole week for her party. She had a great time but Brandon had a little trouble dealing with the fact she is big enough to not need his help opening presents anymore. He kept wanting to be reasured that when it came time for his birthday that he would get all the benefits she did. On her actual birthday she got to go to school which with the weather lately we weren't sure, (more on that in a minute) and she got a crown and was leader of the day. Grandma took the afternoon off and we took her to Wendy's for lunch and played makeup and doll house and watched her new Tinkerbell movie. I think she had a great birthday. We took the kids and mom (Dad had to work late) to Applebee's on Wednesday because it is kid's night and they have a magician and on Brandon's birthday he got a bunch of shaped balloons so she was hoping for the same. She did finally get them but the place was packed and I had to practically drag him over right before we left. I wasn't about to leave without those balloons. Jessie got a flower and a purple poodle and Brandon got a dinosaur. I will send more pictures soon over shutterfly but it takes so long to download with dialup. Some day maybe we can get into the future where we live. Of course then they will have something even better.

As for the weather, this is the craziest winter we have had in years. With all the two hour delays and school cancelling Jessie has only been to school twice in the past two weeks. The temperature has not been over twenty for like two weeks and it was 70 degrees right before all this hit. Last night we had hurricane gust winds and it destroyed our trampoline. We are waiting for warmer weather to see if it is salvagable at all but the frame is completely trashed. Hopefully the weather and our lives will start to even out in the near future. This week is supposed to be nice and dry out everything in time for the next storm. I am so ready for spring.

Christmas Day

GG visiting Santa

Santa at the Villa (GG's apartment)

New Leapfrog Book

We spent Christmas Eve making the Jesus cake and watching Christmas movies and finishing up last minute stuff. Dad went to help the SRDA hand out presents and baskets. At night we went to Chris' s house. We had dinner and then opened up the presents from Pat and Jim and the kid's gifts to everybody. Carmen's (Rachel's mom) boyfriend Kurt dressed up like Santa and visited the kids. Brandon almost blew it because he kept saying he knew it was Kurt but I had a little talk with him about playing along and he got better. He still believes in Santa but he doesn't believe he will actually meet the real one so everyone else is fake. I think deep down he is realizing that there isn't really one and he isn't ready to bring up the subject yet. They were on overdrive they were so excited and I didn't get them to bed until 10 pm. Then I still had to do my stuff. I thought they might sleep in but they were up by 6:30. I heard them whispering in the dark living room so I got up before they started opening everything up. Brandon got a new bike and a toy ATV from Santa and Jessie got a sparkly toy horse and a little porceline angel doll and a purple sparkly dreamcatcher. The kids got pretty much everything they wanted so they were very happy. I think we all got what we needed this year too. Everything went smoothly, no tantrums from grownups or kids, so all was good. We managed to stretch Christmas out for most of the day and then Chris and Rachel went to her mom's for dinner and we spent the rest of the evening looking at the gifts and playing with the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Of course the kids had trouble going to sleep that night because they didn't want it to end. I don't blame them, the let down can be intense. You plan so long and then it's over. But they are still having fun playing with their toys and Jessie is already talking about her birthday.

Christmases to remember

They were having a thing in the newspaper where you write in about your most memorable Christmas and it made me think about mine. I have had a lot of memorable Christmases in the past and hopefully many more in the future. Here are some of my more cherished Christmas memories. Brandon and Jessie’s first Christmases are a few of the top choices for obvious reasons. The Christmas I was pregnant with Jessie is one of my favorites because she was so excited even inside me. I remember she was active all day which wasn’t unusual but when Scott gave me the white tiger as a gift for her and I held it to my stomach she settled down like she knew it was for her and was happy to be included. She still loves Christmas with a passion even at her early age. It’s not even the gifts she looks forward to but just the season itself.
Another Christmas close to my heart is when grandpa died. Since we knew it was his last, the season took on new meaning. Everything seemed more special that year. The lights were brighter, and it all just had a special quality. I spent days looking for the right present to give him and finally found it, the music box, I still put it up every year in honor of him. I can still remember the church service only in that it meant so much to grandpa.. My only regret is he didn’t get to see the presents we all got for him. Later that day, Grandma opened Grandpa’s gifts and handed them out to us, giving us back the ones we gave and splitting up the others among us. I am not sure of the right description of emotion for that but even though it would seem morbid, there was a kind of tranquility, maybe it was knowing that he was knowing he was no longer in pain. He even left us the final gift of family since the Cooks came in and we spent the rest of Christmas together.
He loved Christmas so much and it was only fitting that he left us on that day. Grandpa instilled that love of Christmas to mom who in turn passed it on to us kids. Every year Mom tries to make Christmas special. She gets into it and wants everyone to get lots of gifts because she loves giving and never asks for a lot. Every year she is surprised by how much she has because she doesn’t expect anything in return. Even when we were little, we never went without no matter what the circumstances were. We have lots of traditions and some are the same as when I was a kid, some have changed slightly and some are just getting going. I only hope that I can carry on that passion for the true meaning of Christmas to my kids and teach them what I have learned. No matter how much you receive, it means nothing if you don’t have close family to share it with. I hope I can instill that same Christmas passion that Grandpa and Mom have.

addendum to pre christmas

I forgot a few things when I posted earlier. We also went to see Santa at the mall and had dinner there. Brandon told him what he wanted and also told him what Jessie wanted because she couldn't remember. I think she got nervous. Then Brandon told Santa that he knew he was only an assistant to Santa so he wouldn't be seeing him on Christmas Eve. This Santa even has a real beard but we told the kids some Santas are only helpers because he couldn't be everywhere so Brandon figures that they all are the helpers. When Santa said he would see them Christmas Eve, Brandon told him they would be asleep so he wouldn't see them. I think Santa was very glad to move them on. Jessie has been the one questioning Santa more than Brandon so we will be lucky if we get a few more years out of either one of them. At Brandon's Christmas party, there is a boy that is in kindergarten named Daniel whose brother is in Brandon's class, they ride the bus together, and Jessie has a crush on him. She got all giggly when she was talking to him and Scott freaked out because he got a preview of what is coming and wasn't expecting to have to deal with boys already. It was funny. The kids also made gifts for Aunt Pat and Uncle Jim because they felt bad that they were going to be home by themselves for Christmas and wanted to remember them. They also made gifts for some friends of ours that have given the kids stuff over the years. The kids overheard Mom telling me that they weren't giving themselves gifts this year because they are also having financial problems and the kids didn't think that was right for them not to have something to open. Yesterday we went to GG's apartment where they had a Santa, and we made sure they didn't tell anyone they thought he was a helper. Brandon was going to ask if he came by car or sleigh but decided against it. I got a picture of them and I also got a pic of GG sitting next to Santa that I will post later, I haven't downloaded it yet. Then they went up to her apartment and we hung out there for awhile. GG introduced the kids to her friends that hear all about their antics so they were glad to finally get to meet them. I think that is finally all so far.