Frusturated

I used to have faith that everything was going to be all right no matter what was happening in my life. After I lost Kimmie, it shook me faith that bad things could happen to my family. I have long since come to terms with losing a child and am thankful that at least she died before I really got to know her but I have never been able to completely get back the feeling of calm that would surround me and let me know that God was near and everything would be okay. There's no little voice telling me what I should do or that it will be alright. When I pray, I feel desperate instead of peaceful. Every time I start to feel that things are starting to work out, everything falls apart again. I am trying to stay positive and I know things could be much worse. It's hard when I see people who seem like everything goes so easy for them and everything is a struggle for us. I have to great kids who are questioning why God hasn't answered our prayers yet. They say it's not like we are asking for anything huge, so why aren't we getting it. It is hard to keep telling them to just have faith, that our prayers will be answered in the right time, when it is always such a tight crunch. I know that God has been helping us and it's not like I have no faith left but I don't understand why we have to constantly be right down to losing everything before something happens. Scott and have had major trials throughout our marriage and have I have tried to keep the faith throughout it but when does something finally good come of it? When do my dreams get to be realized? Why is it that when something good starts to fall into place, it suddenly fall apart? If it wasn't meant to happen they why hasn't what was supposed to happen happened yet? Everything is changing and I can't control the changes but I feel like it is spinning out of control and I can't feel God there to help stop it.